School Sob Story.

I graduated high school almost 15 years ago. Off to college I went, in a town 200 miles away. Homesickness set in like crazy and having a job that prevented me from going home on weekends really sucked. I ended up making great friends and loved the town after the first year. I spent the next 10 years there, working and going to school.

At that school, if you didn't go full time ALL the time, you could not get financial aid. They are a very traditional school with lots of rich kids. I was not rich and I needed money to pay for school and just everyday things like, oh, DEODORANT and TOOTHPASTE... and so I had to work. My Dad paid for a lot, but I didn't manage money well (I was 18 and homesick but never a party person or did drugs or anything like that). I drank on occasion but was always very responsible with that. I just worked and wanted to sleep. I went in as pre-med and when I had to take semesters off to work, I watched my friends quickly pass me by. It hurt, so I changed my major. A few times. Then I finally settled on Electrical Engineering. It sounded interesting and hard, and like I HAD to have the degree to get a job in that field. So I worked my butt off for a couple of semesters, poor as ever, but I struggled through it. Then I couldn't afford the 3rd semester in that and went back to part time. My study group went on through. In EE, you HAVE to have a study group. You took all your classes together and worked on homework together. I had an AWESOME group. Nikki, Martel, Nick, and Stan. A good friend of mine was a graduate student in that same dept and he would help me sometimes too. I miss Brad.

So. I was very sad and just wanted to FINISH my stupid degree. I looked at what classes I had and what I could fit into a degree and wouldn't matter if I went part time. I had tons of science classes (chemistry, physics, microbiology, biology) and tons of math classes (calculus 1,2, and 3, differential equations, linear algebra, etc). Science would require more labs and I HATE labs. They're very time consuming. So I chose math. I was in a very tough semester and had made it to the last week of classes when someone rear ended me at a stop light. It was on a hill and the woman hit me so hard that I went underneath the car in front of me (because of the angle of the hill). So my car was smooshed in the front and back. The lame cop wouldn't give me a ride to my apt, which was only a mile or two away. The woman who hit me had a friend pick her up and so they took me home.

The pain kicked in pretty quickly so I went to a chiropractor. He was awwwwesome. He and his practice partner took care of many of the University's athletes, so I knew he was reputable. I was in therapy 5 days a week, then 3, then 2, then 1. This wrecked havoc on my work schedule (I had to take a few weeks off, which hurt financially) and I couldn't finish my last week of classes and then finals. I took incompletes in 2 classes and my other 3 professors just gave me the grade I had at that point (all were passing, thankfully).

My car was totalled and I had no money. Guess what my boyfriend of a few months decided to do? He loaned me his spare car he had just gotten back from his brother! Taught me to drive it, as it was a standard and my town was HILLLLY. The kicker? My boyfriend lived in my hometown 200 miles away. And he trusted me with his car that I barely knew how to drive. Pretty amazing.

Here I was injured, broke, out of school, and my boyfriend was going through a VERY rough time of his own. He had just moved out of an apt he shared with his ex-girlfriend and their baby and he was BROKE. (Long story.) He had started back to school around this time to finish his degree, but he had gotten financial aid to pay for it. After a few visits to his apartment, we decided for me to move back to my hometown. We moved in together and both of us got out of debt and I got a new (to me) car. We got married a year later. We bought a house almost a year after that. Then we went back into debt with credit cards. Go figure. :)

So, Joe is in school and I'm wishing I was. Well, actually I wished I had gotten my degree. I didn't miss school. I enjoyed the next few years off. Well, one semester I took two classes as a temporary (or transient) student. I couldn't transfer to the University down here because I still had a balance to pay off. Then we got pregnant and had Bayley. I thought about how I had imagined myself with a career and making good money before I ever started a family. When you're young, you never imagine yourself broke and living paycheck to paycheck. lol. Of course, I always thought I'd be single because I couldn't find a decent guy. So here I am, living paycheck to paycheck, married with a house and a baby. Not the best financial situation.

I still owed the University money. I had been paying $20-$50 a month for the past few years. Pitiful, but it kept them from bugging me. They took my state tax refund every year, but that was fine. This February, I got a letter saying I was getting a partial state refund because the University only took a small amount. What?? So I called them and found out I only owed $44!! Why they didn't take that too,I don't know. But I don't care. I paid it off immediately. I was FREE AND CLEAR to transfer my hours!!! So I did. And then I applied for financial aid. I figured if everyone down here got it, then I could at least try. I didn't expect much because one of the requirements is "satisfactory academic progress." That means you have to have completed so many hours per semester. At least at my previous University. Not so here. I guess it just means you have to pass what you take here and not drop or fail everything. I got word that I not only got student loans, but a PELL GRANT! Having a spouse in school full time and a baby at home totally helped me. :)

I then find out that I somehow owed this local Univ money too from when I took those 2 courses. They said I never paid my last $110. My payments back then were $250 and I don't know how I would've paid a partial payment. But whatever. I just paid the dang bill and then accepted my financial aid awards.

WOOO HOOOO!

So I got advised, registered, got my parking sticker, and my student ID on Tuesday. I am starting back to school FULL TIME (12 hours) as of Thursday the 20th. My major? I am going to finish with a math degree, but I'm double majoring in business: Accounting and Management with an emphasis in small business management. The math I need 2 more classes to get my minor and 6 more to get my bachelor of Arts. (I could get a Bachelor of Science if I could pass one class I failed TWICE at the previous University.) I am happy with a BA in math. I hope to graduate with 3 degrees. I figure if I take 18 years to get my college degree, I will come out with 3 of them.

I'm so proud of myself. I don't go around announcing that, but I really am. I know the hard work is just beginning because I will still work my full time day job at the hospital and I'm a full time wife and mother. Those are very time consuming and then I'm adding school on top of that. I always tend to put too much on my plate (literally and figuratively. ha) but I'm fairly confident I can do it this time. I had to work too hard to get to this point to quit now. So many people start college and never finish. They say once you drop out, you never go back. I'm here to prove those nay-sayers wrong.

I think about when we'll try for more babies and I decided it doesn't matter if I'm in school or not. Yes, it will be hard. But it will NOT get any easier the longer I wait. My husband is amazing and works harder than anyone I know. We pull together when it matters most and get the job done. So I'm done stressing about the timing of babies, school, etc.

I'm focusing on ME. My education. I am too smart and too ambitious to sit and do the job I'm at the rest of my life. I like it, but I work for people my age who are doctors. Talk about feeling like an underachiever. I am good at making excuses and laughing things off. But this is one area I'm tired of doing that. I'm going to do it. I don't care if it takes me another 5 years. I will finish. And I will do something that makes me happy, proud, and gives me opportunities I don't currently have because of lack of money. I want my family to be comfortable, I want them to be proud of me, and more than anything, I want to go to my 20 year high school reunion and feel like I can look everyone in the eye without feeling like a slacker. Many of my classmates are doctors, lawyers, business owners, marketing executives, etc. While it doesn't make them better than me, I just want to be able to stand with that group of people and not feel inferior. I know that feeling comes from ME where I'm judging myself, but I want to stand tall and proud - of MYSELF.