Many of us have a lot of opposite sex friends and sometimes just relate better to them better than to those of us to the same gender. That seems all well and good until you get married.
For those of you who are married, what happens to your friendships with the opposite sex? Especially if those friends are single? Do you and your spouse have an agreed upon set of expectations for what you feel is appropriate?
And for those of you who are single, I'd like your input on how you feel about your opposite sex friend's spouse. Do you get to know the spouse and spend time with them together, or do you hang out or talk to your opposite sex friend alone?
Just wondering. :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
My husband and I have a very... liberal relationship. He does and always has encouraged me to spend time with my guy friends (I have MAINLY guy friends... ALL SINGLE). He knows he can trust me and many times, if not MOST times, we all hang out together as a group. As far as Erick having girl friends... well, it's fine- although it annoys me that at one point or another he has slept with practically ALL OF THEM. He was such a sloot before he met me! But yeah, we are really laid back about the whole thing.
My husband gets paranoid and he is easily jealous also. We really don't do friends of the opposite sex. We are friends with couples and are wfriends with single people but it is usually both of us that have that person as a friend. Otherwise I think it could possibly get messy.
Although for me to add Trust is the most important thing-if you have that then there shouldn't be a problem regardless!
I am a very jealous person. Fortunately, my husband didn't have any friends who were girls when we met. Although I did have male friends at first, I kind of lost contact with them over the years.
This is a tough situation. I fear that I sound like the controlling, horrible wife. But really, I am not.
First, I have learned that I trust myself. If I love this man, then I trust myself that I chose well and therefore, I trust him to make choices that are in our best interests. So yes, go do your dinner/drinks thing with the opposite sex friend. Second, I personally always feel better when my spouse has met and spent some time with this friend and I usually ask him if he wants to attend the said function. It's totally up to him. But then there aren't any questions as to who they are or what kind of person they are. Jealousy I think is a given in any situation. I could be at dinner and if I AM feeling insecure he could look at the server the wrong way I in turn will interpret it badly. So having a friend of the opposite sex, I feel, is totally cool. But there are two sets of feelings to consider. But again, I think trust is the big issue - trust in yourself and in your spouse.
Always, always get to know your s/o's friends!
Mr. Arm Pillow has an expression.... "Friend of the relationship". If his friend or my friend is not what he or I would consider to be a friend of our relationship, then it's a problem.
Interesting concept, huh? :)
Post a Comment