Traumatic Thoughts.

Do you ever feel so traumatized by things you hear about that don't even involve you? Does it keep you awake at night, do you find yourself crying during random moments because something made you think about what you heard?

I work in the private offices of pediatric emergency medicine physicians. I do not work in the ER. I have worked in an ER when I was in college, but it wasn't a children's hospital. Just a regular run-of-the-mill hospital.

Pediatric ER physicans are incredible. I have never really thought about what they did until I started working here. They are the most personable, friendly, compassionate, and HUMAN doctors you'll ever meet. They don't have the God Complex and the ones here go by their first names. (There are a couple I call Dr. because they're older and I just feel weird calling them by their first names.) They see a lot of terrible stuff, and yet they manage to walk in with a smile and ask how Bayley's doing. They're great to work for, because if I have a question I can just walk down the hall to their office, email, call, or walk down to the ER to ask them something. They always tell me I can call them if I'm worried about Bayley. When my purse was stolen a week and a half before this past Christmas, they took up a collection for me. I had been in this department for 3 months. It's not like I had been here forever. And the collection was pretty sizeable. I hadn't even met many of the physicians face-to-face yet. I was stunned. I had Bayley 7 weeks early so one Monday I didn't come to work and they were all shocked. They had a baby shower for me and bought me two of my biggest registry items, along with some other things. These are GENEROUS and caring people.

Now, on to my point.

Yesterday one of the docs I work for was in a bad mood. She said, "I'm cranky. Actually, I'm pissed. I had to deal with a sorry S.O.B. who raped his 8 day old daughter. " My jaw hit the ground. W. H. A. T. T. H. E. H. E. L. L. ?? I'm not violating any laws because apparently this information was on the news and in the paper. My dad asked me about it today. I broke down and started crying. He's 19, mother is 16, and baby is 8 days old. What kind of sick pervert does this?? And what does it do to the baby? Thank God that this baby will not remember this, but she had to be stitched all the way down to her anus. Hopefully she will not have any further medical issues, but she has to be seen by a pediatric gynecologist. I do not know any names involved but I'm sure you can find them on the news. I don't want to know. We had a 15 day old come in a few months ago for the same reason. If you google the topic, you may see that a young guy raped his ONE DAY OLD baby. I would like to castrate these men with a dull, rusty knife. And then make them eat it. Seriously.

My heart aches for that poor little baby, and for all those babies out there that have had this happen to them. I mean, it's awful enough to happen to ANYONE (adult, teens, etc.) but it really makes me angry when it involves kids...and disgusted and revolted when it happens to an infant. Especially a completely helpless infant.

I've been crying since yesterday off and on. I can't tell my husband about the stories I hear because he gets upset and doesn't want to know. And you can't just strike up this type of conversation with just anyone. So I have held it in and now I'm blogging about it here. Sorry. I just had to get it out.

Thanks for listening. Sorry to depress you on Friday.