Affair. No, not me. :)

Yesterday I learned that someone I used to work with had an affair with someone else I worked with. He supervised her so everyone started talking when they went to lunch everyday. I didn't think anything of it. I just thought they were friends. I mean, they were both married with two small kids and they are very nice people. Apparently things kept going long after I left that job and it ended with the supervisor turning himself in because of a big misunderstanding with the girl and there was talk of a restraining order. So he figured he'd better tell his supervisors about the affair so he would have a better chance of keeping his job. He had tried before several times to get this girl moved to his boss' supervision instead of his, but that was shot down. Long story short, he got written up, but the girl went to HR to plead on his behalf to help him keep his job. Now his supervisors are treating him like crap and he's trying to find a new job. Both couples are now divorced (her husband left her for another woman, not sure if he knew about the affair and not sure if his wife knew about it either) and she is seeing someone else. He is picking up the pieces of his broken heart.

I know both of these people and one of them doesn't know I just heard about all this. I will NEVER say anything to her or anyone that works there because it's not my place. And that place is a breeding ground for hate, misery, and gossip.

As it turns out, I knew he was miserable in his marriage but I had NO idea she was miserable in hers. I'm so sad because the kids are all really young. His are 8 and 3, hers are like 7 and 2, I think.

So my point in all of this... I am SO naive when it comes to affairs and cheating and such. I am usually the last to figure it out, while everyone else can't believe I don't "see" what's going on.

I think back on couples I've known and thought were happy and am surprised at how many I know who have cheated on each other. I am not one to judge them, so all I can say is I'm so sad for everyone who is unhappy in their marriage. There just aren't many couples who last 20,30, 40+ years anymore. My own parents lasted 19 and my husband's lasted about the same. Kids adapt very well but it still stinks that both parents can't see their kids 100% of the time. But hey, that's a WHOLE other post for me. (Hiding the soapbox before I'm tempted to jump up on it.)

My conscience keeps me in check, I think. I would feel horribly guilty because I always get instant karma when I do something wrong. If I get irritated at a slow driver and cut in front of them, someone immediately does the same to me. I know I'd get caught because of that and the fact that I'm not a great liar. Aside from all of that, I honestly love my husband dearly and although I get irritated at him, tired of certain habits, etc. I still love knowing I can go home to him. Being married is more like a security blanket for me. I'm comfortable and have let myself go somewhat (like gaining quite a bit of weight, mainly) and I like the routine, the sameness of everything. I am not a fan of huge change and I want my kids to grow up in the same neighborhood or at least the same schools. I was moved around a lot and went to several different schools and hated it.

I wish there was a magic potion to help couples work things out and stay together when kids are involved. I know that some people just turn into selfish a-holes and there is nothing the other person can do, or it's not good for the kids, etc. Like I said, I'm not judging.

My point of this post was just to tell how shocked I was at hearing about these two people having an affair and it sort of went on a little tangent. Sorry, that's just how my brain works.

Is anyone else ever the last to know about these things?