My brother just turned 38 on Sunday. My Dad's birthday was Saturday. I hosted the cookout for them and spent a lot of money on food for them. I was sick the two weeks prior and Joe was sick, too. We just weren't in the mood to do it, but we were asked by my Dad and I agreed so we dragged ourselves out of bed and hosted the cookout. My brother, Dad, stepmom, and uncle all show up around noon and they left just after 2pm. We were all beat, and all of us (Z included) passed out for a couple of hours. Bayley slept 4. So I got a 2 hour nap!!! It was AWESOME.
Sunday I get a text from my brother asking for leftover food. Since my mom had been at my house and lives by him, I wrapped up all the leftovers I had and sent them to him through her. Never heard a word back.
Monday I get to work and a few hours later I get this nasty, hateful email about how ashamed he is of me because he seems to think my mom pays most of my bills. He is "tired of (me) taking all of (HIS!!!) mother's income every month." And he goes on to say he's ashamed of me and I should be too. Seriously?? Does he really want me to go there with him?? Not only do Joe and I pay our own damn bills, we get Mom out of her apt once, sometimes twice a week to go window shopping and to lunch. What does he do? NOTHING. Does he bother to call? Not often. I call her at least once a day to make sure she's okay, as she lives by herself. Sometimes two or more times a day.
As for me being ashamed of myself, well, he SO does not want me to go there. Not to go into too much detail, but let's just say that his years of self-destructive behavior, selfishness, outright rude and tactless behavior are NOTHING to be proud of. HE should be ashamed of HIMSELF. I've always been the "good kid" who didn't go off and do the things he did, I have always tried to please my parents and other people, and I've let him treat me like dirt and get away with it. Well, no more.
Not only that, he had the nerve to point at my daughter's hemangioma (aka "strawberry") on her face and yell like a toddler, "WHAT'S THAT?!??!" and acted all disgusted. Everyone stood there for a second, very quiet, because that's not the way a grown man should ask a question, with his accusatory finger half an inch from her face and his face all contorted. My stepmother was quite irritated, but calmly said, "It's a strawberry." I said, "It's a grouping of capillaries that will disappear within a year or so." I wanted to say, "It's the SAME DAMN THING you asked me the last THREE times you've seen her." So then he calls my mother after he gets home and says, "Bayley has this THING on her face." My mom says, "You had one when you were little. They go away."
All this said, I am beyond livid. Say what you want about me (even lies, I don't care) but leave my beautiful, precious infant OUT of it. She is gorgeous, perfect, sweet, and happy. What kind of scumbag does it take to insult a baby?? I will NOT have him trying to make her feel like a freak.
So all this said, I have not responded to his email yet. I need to cool down. Once I do, though, it will be to the effect of, "I pay my own bills, thank you, so get your facts straight. However, your childish behavior regarding Bayley's hemangioma is beyond rude and I will NOT tolerate it. Keep your hateful attitude to yourself. I want no part of it."
Anyway... this has been eating at me...because I've always let him walk all over me and I've just let it roll off my back because I feel he's depressed, miserable, and lonely. He's 38 and just bought his first house last year. He's single and no girlfriend potential for miles. His 31 year old sister got married, bought a house, and had a beautiful baby all before him. And he's eaten alive with jealousy. But don't get me wrong, it didn't start there. He has ALWAYS thought I was given more than him. Well, I wasn't. We have never been close and never will be. We are nothing alike and the only thing we have in common is our parents.
I just had to get this out... even though I've been bitching to my parents and friends and darling husband, who supports me and has listened to me and will defend me to the end.
So anyway, what I REALLY want to do is send my wonderful brother a text saying, "YOU'RE WELCOME for the free food. I appreciate the thanks I got via email."
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14 comments:
UGH. I'm sorry he was such an asshole.
Next time you know he'll be at a family function, I would cancel. It's just not worth it.
i think the text at the bottom would be perfect to send. make him feel stupid
Family......can't live with them and can't kick them in the face.
Or you can. Your call.
I don't see anything on Bayley's face in the pic below. So it must not be that bad, if it doesn't even show up in pics.
what a freakin' baby.
I just wouldn't respond to it, or if I did...It would be a one liner like, "Oh, grow up."
....you just don't get to f*ck with my child, and expect me to take your sh*t. You wanna attack me? Go ahead. But to be rude to my child, whether my child can understand you or not---that's not okay. And besides, I wouldn't want my child to pick up any of your other negative habits....
...but hey, that's just me.
What an ass. I am sorry that he seems to strike out at you. I would totally send the text message if I were you. You went to a lot of effort for him and your dad, and that's all he can say? What the hell? Ohhh, I'm getting pissed just thinking about it!
I would be so fired up too. I agree with Lainey Painey, he is not worth a response, we clearly know who the more mature one is and it is not him!
You are handling it well by not giving in to your anger. It is HIS problem, not yours. Let him be.
Umm, what kind of guest calls and asks for leftovers the NEXT DAY? I mean, talk about lack of class... You're probably right in cooling down before you email him. If it were me I would have said all the mean things I was thinking and then probably would have regretted it later. I hate being hateful. Even if it is only once in a blue moon. And Bay is GORJ!
Ugh. Just... UGH!
What is wrong with people? It's one thing for him to act like an ass to you; you're a big girl and you can kick him the balls if you have to. But to act like that toward a child?
Your brother reminds me of Hoop's cousin. The dude is 24, lives with his Momma, works at CVS, and then gambles all his money away on the weekend. At family functions he DEMANDS his Mom make all of his plates of food, much to everyone else's disgust.
You know how I feel already. He is a jerk and I think it was beyond time that you tell him exactly how it is and put your foot down. Don't let him get to you. He isn't worth your time. Have your say and be done with it. Then you don't have to think about it and the negativity is out of your life. It makes things SO MUCH MORE pleasant! :)
Dang. I had no idea about your brother. I'm sorry all that happened. First of all, with the leftovers . . . um, that was too nice. I'd have kept them and eaten them all! You are a great person. Don't let him treat you like crap.
wow what a pig. and you are prob right in saying that you are never going to be close because someone like this is too pig headed to get close to anyone. i have a brother like this, and he has always been a bit jealous of me being older and starting a life before him. however, if he ever acted like that i would not hesitate to rip him a new one. sounds like he's trying to belittle you to make himself feel better. don't let him get away with it!
ps:i had them, and both of my kids have strawberry marks aka stork bites and while they are 1 and 3, they haven't fully one away but are totally normal! what a jerk for pointing it out though!
I kind of want to punch your brother in the face. What a jerk!
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