Car decorations.

Have you ever looked at what people put on their cars? I have a 30 minute (sometimes longer) commute to work every morning and sometimes I'm amused, shocked, grossed out, confused, etc. by what people choose to decorate their cars with.

Bumper stickers are usually funny but why would you want to say the same thing ALL day long for YEARS? Well, unless it's a really funny one...which I have yet to see. The "My kid is an honor student at X Elementary" is pretty lame, but what's a proud parent to do when their kid hands them a sticker and looks at them with those pitiful little eyes? Hehe. The "My kid beat up your honor kid" is funny for a second, but seriously. Not worth putting on your car. Or those Calvin stickers where he's urinating on a Ford or Chevy logo. Uh, not so funny. Just retarded.

Yesterday I passed someone with a Bush/Cheney '04 sticker on their van. Good luck peeling that off. Why don't they make political clingy things instead of stickers? That way you can take them off when they aren't running for office anymore.

My husband LOOOOOVES stickers. He's a kayaker and therefore his truck window is covered with kayak gear logos, musicians, etc that he loves. People always think he's a teenager when he pulls up with his loud music, racks on top of his truck, and stickers covering every spot on the windows. He even got pulled over the other day by a cop because one headlight was burnt out. Then they asked to search his truck. Sure, no problem. Once the cop realized he was sober, not a teenager, not a dope head or gangster, he asked, "So you like Bob Marley and you don't have any drugs in your truck?" I thought that was pretty narrow-minded and small-townish. But whatever. Joe said, "No sir, I just like his music. I love Jimmy Buffett too." And yes, there is a Jimmy sticker somewhere on there.

Joe put a few stickers on my car once and a few months later they "mysteriously" disappeared. I just couldn't stand it. I had to take them off. I have my parking stickers for work and that's it.

I hate those stickers that say "If it flies, it dies." You may not be familiar with this unless you live in the south. We're animal lovers and conservationists. We don't hunt, my husband fishes with Z in a neighborhood pond, but they always throw the fish back. We aren't vegetarians by any stretch but we always take in stray animals and find homes for them.

And I'm a sports fan but you know those flags you put on your windows so it looks like your car has two pigtails sailing in the wind? Why do people use them other than on game days? They just look retarded.

Some people put plastic duck or deer heads on the ball hitch on the back of their truck or SUV. That doesn't bother me. What DOES bother me... those hanging balls from the bottom of a truck that are supposed to look like testicles. How do you explain to a 5 year old what they are? I've just said, "Oh honey, those are tacky decorations for a truck. They're stupid." Of course, Z says, "Yeah, they look really stupid. I don't like them." I said, "Yeah, I don't either." So hopefully that will be the end of it and it won't come up again.